Friday, 22 July 2011

I could'nt do it :(

Hi all,
Well yesterday was all geared up to go go into the car on the way to see the therapist and half way there I had a huge panic attack it brung back bad feelings of my PND with my son. So ended up going home, yes I do regret it but I'm not in that place yet and will get there.
Also I canceled my appointment with my CPN  for next week as I feel ashamed and cant complete the task she asked me to do was call her on the phone, yes might not seem like much but Im scared of the phone due to all
the bad news my dad has deleivered over it over the past 7 years. First of all it was my brother passing then that my mum had months to live then she died then it he was marring a total golddigging bitch that took all the money my mum work hard for, so you see it doesnt hold good memories for me.
Disrealization has been really bad today I just want my life back. Sorry for sounding so morbid but life is hard atm and I feel alone.
Ill check in laters
And to all who think this blog could help people please pass it on.

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